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My boy’s gonna play in the big leagues

InGoal Magazine writer takes on reality TV series

Hey Carbo! Hey Bergie! Did you see that save??

Hey Carbo! Hey Bergie! Did you see that save??

If there is one other thing that Quebec culture has a passion for, besides its unbridled obsession with hockey, it is most certainly tv reality shows.  French language versions of American Idol (Star Académie in Quebec ) and The Real World (Loft Story) have created a huge following in the province.  It shouldn’t come as a surprise, then, that Quebec media giant TVA gamely decided to combine the two by launching the idea of a hockey reality show.  And what better way to rekindle the fires of enmity between provincial rivals Quebec City and Montreal than the format of two teams of no-namers duking it out for the crown of Quebecois garage league supremacy?

La Série Montréal-Québec has enlisted the coaching talents of ex-NHL bench bosses Guy Carbonneau (for the Montreal side) and Michel « le Tigre » Bergeron (for the Quebec side).  The two will oversee a team of non- professionals and aspirants who either got side-tracked on their way to the big leagues or were simply too stubborn and stupid to give up the dream (I’ll let readers decide which of these categories I fit in a bit later on).  For the next two weeks 10000 (!) hopefuls will go to tryouts in the two cities, each with 15 minutes to strut their stuff.  The rules are that the teams may choose only players who have never played pro hockey of any sort; there must be three women per team, one player over 40 and one over 50.  Beginning in January, the teams will split a total of 8 games between the two cities and viewers will get to vote on whom they think  should dress for games or be locked up in the stick room, so to speak.

I figured that being over 40 would make me an ideal candidate for the post of backup goalie (i.e. why waste one of your over 40 choices on a player who has to play, when you can use it on the back up goalie who doesn’t do more than warm the bench?)  In that regard, being over 50 and a goalie would be better.  Being over 50 and a goalie and a woman better still.  I am hoping that there is going to be some kind of interview where I can point out that in addition to being a goalie coach I am a visible minority, speak three languages and look more like a status Indian than half of the real First Nations cardholders in this city.  If I can just show up in drag then maybe I will have all the equal opportunity bases covered…

My wife signed me up for this thing as a bit of a joke, noting in my application that as a kid my father had forbidden me to play goalie, and that I only finally became one by lying my way onto a team as an adult.  80 games a season and 15 years later I sort of play decent hockey (my GAA is finally under 10.  Most games).  In fairness, I am playing in one of the best garage leagues, with players that played in College or even Major Junior (way back in the 80’s of course).  But is it good enough to get a favourable nod, or even a sideways condescending glance, from the selection committee?  I’ll find out this Thursday at 12h00…

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1 Comment

  1. Kris

    wish they had shows like this in the states!