The audio segment published here takes you directly to the Parent Segment from this episode.

In our Parents Segment, presented by the Stop It Goaltending U app, we talk about some ideas for helping kids build their confidence in tough times – including an idea inspired by, of all people, Kevin Bieksa.

Summary

One of the most common questions we get from parents is about helping their kids build confidence in tough times. I was reminded of that last night as I watched HNIC and Kevin Bieksa mentioned having an index card in his tape bag throughout his career. The first line was “one mistake – not two” as a reminder that it’s ok to make mistakes and that you can recover from them – just try not to make two. 

He also alluded to the card that Kelly Hrudey had on set and has carried for years – an idea I understand he got from meeting with Tony Robbins back when Kelly played for the Los Angeles Kings. Kelly’s story is a powerful one – told in part on an episode of the IGR Podcast we will link … because after 10 years in the NHL he was feeling like he wasn’t good enough and didn’t belong – the very same confidence struggles so many young goalies face today.

I was also reminded of Pete Fry who as a part of his Goalie Mindset Academy has his students do regular affirmations and as silly as it sounds – looking in the mirror every morning saying a few key phrases like “I am A GREAT goalie, I am powerful.” Others suggest pinning a card like Bieksa’s and Hrudey have on the bathroom mirror for similar reasons – a regular reminder you’ll see several times each day.

If this all sounds a bit uncomfortable consider also the book Atomic Habits by James Clear which in part tells us that to build strong habits it’s easier to take on a persona…want to be a marathon runner? It can take months or years of daily training and healthy eating and racing to feel you’ve earned the title “marathon runner” and it’s a huge challenge to get through all that and build the habits of a marathon runner. Instead try this – Tell yourself every day that you are a marathon runner. Trust me – living the life of one becomes much, much easier. I’ve done similar but I won’t bore you with my story lol

So I would encourage you to work with your young goalie to start telling themselves whatever positive message they need each day morning and night. And write a few phrases down  on a card they can keep somewhere – on a desk, on the bathroom mirror is common, or in a phone case. 

Maybe it’s Pete’s “I am a great goalie” or something more specific you need to be reminded of – “I am a AA goalie” … I don;t think it has to be “I am an NHL goalie” or “I am the best goalies in the world” – it’s fine to reach for the stars – but it’s OK not to as well.

I’ve told goalies in the past to simply “smile” as a reminder to relax – you cant smile and be tense – but also to have fun. 

We’ve published articles with Mike DiPietro (Take it one puck at a time), as well as Eric Comrie (“Breathe – Centred”) on his stick – a message that has changed over time ), Cory Schneider (“​​Don’t fear failure. Compete 100%. Enjoy the process. Play for others” – Woody you can remind me of others – who have a key phrase or two on a piece of equipment – for some it’s a reminder of something technical (which can in itself give confidence) or a reminder of something else important to them – family for example – or a simple message to give them strength. We’ll ink those too.

So those are a couple of simple ideas to help your young goalie with confidence. Whatever you choose, know that it takes time. It’s OK. Hang in there,. The struggles are normal. 

And please – if you think your child’s struggles – or your own – need the support of someone else – reach out to a mental health professional – like one of the people we have had on here or someone of your own choosing – it’s ok to ask for help!

Want to talk more about this or anything – [email protected]

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