In the Parent Segment, presented by Stop It Goaltending U the App,

we dig into the first five of 10 ways to ensure you have your best season as a goalie parent.

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US schools are back, Canadians are not far behind – tryouts in some associations are happening – we have a billet returning to us today. It’s hockey season!
One of our most popular articles for parents is 10 ways to have your best season ever as a goalie parent. I’ve revisited it each year since it was published and will again today, slightly updated.
Today we’ll cover the first 5, and leave the rest for next week. These are in no particular order.

1. Cheer for the other goalie on your team, even in tryouts.
You want your child to have their best year because of how they play, not because someone else struggles. Having a playing partner they like and respect with a healthy and fun competitive relationship makes for a great season. It’s a lot better to take a positive attitude into every day than to sit grumpily in the stands hoping for bad things to happen just so your kid looks good.
It’s tryout time now and the same goes for those…not sure what it’s like where you are but around here the rink was always eerily silent during scrimmages. We still cheered – for all the goalies. You want your kid to earn their spot, not back into it. You want to be a leader in creating a positive environment.
We’ve come to believe in Karma or the Hockey Gods as some call it, so don’t even think bad thoughts about the other goalies! 😉

2. Don’t make excuses when talking with your child (or others).
Of course it’s a team game and we win as a team and lose as a team. But it’s not OK to say “if only your defense had covered that guy” or “if only the forwards back-checked.” The bottom line is our job is to be there when our team makes mistakes. If they were perfect you wouldn’t face any shots. Flip it around: Do you want to hear other parents saying “if only the goalie had stopped that shot?”
It’s only normal wanting to support them after a tough game and it’s absolutely OK to put a game into context – “that was a tough game, a lot more grade A chances than …. At the other end, in your last game…whatever.” But that’s different than “your defence sucked.”
You want to help but there are much better ways after a tough game (coming up!).
On a related note, we’re also not fans of “you’re the only reason your team won today.” Someone scored if you won. Someone backchecked. Someone cleared a rebound. “You had a fantastic game – you were a big part of that win!” is fine but keep the team concept.

3. Don’t compare your child to anyone else.
This is one many of us do, at the very least in our thoughts, but comparison only leads to frustration eventually.
Your child is on their own path. That’s the reality of development and it’s important to acknowledge that and understand it. You’ll hear it in our feature interview today.
Hockey is hard enough without feeling you have to meet someone else’s timeline. Do you think it’s a problem your kid isn’t seen as the “best” at age 10 or 11? We’ve had NHL goalies on this show that didn’t start until they were 12.
Whether their partner is having a better season, or the kid down the road is playing for an (apparently) better team or league just doesn’t matter. If your 14 year old is playing at a lower level than a 13 year old you know, it makes no difference. I acknowledge it can be hard – it’s only natural to want more. And yes, kids who seem “better” at whatever age get more opportunities…but hang in there. You have your own path.
Make the most of whatever situation you are in and become the best that you can. You might be a late developer and pass those kids in a few years. You might not. It doesn’t matter. Focus on today, enjoy the game and good things will happen. After all – the point of this whole thing is to have fun, build friendships, to learn and develop as a person.
Same goes for those of you who are “ahead.” It doesn’t matter.
Be proud of your accomplishments but you still need to keep working hard and keep having fun. Be your own goalie.

4. Find something good each game to celebrate.

Like golf, where one good shot keeps us coming back, one good save or one good play does a world of good for a goalie. I watched a friend’s son get absolutely torched for about a dozen as a very young goalie. He came off the ice with a big smile and said “did you see that glove save?!” That’s a great attitude we can all learn from.

If you’re more experienced you can try something I’ve always done with my son and other goalies I coach right up to junior: find one thing they did that we were working on and celebrate it. Any parent can do this in fact – ask your son or daughter what they’ve been working on and see if you can spot some progress.

It may even be something that still ended in a goal, like beating a pass on their feet with speed where others might slide. Or staying on a pass with their eyes, looking off the puck when there isn’t a threat (another feature interview forshadow).

I tell them that was the highlight of the night for me. They begin to take pride in the details. What you praise gets repeated as you model focusing on the process and not the results (see #6).

5. Don’t say “great game” when it wasn’t.

We know you only want to help but most goalies know when it wasn’t a great game and hate hearing it. Try these instead: I love you. I’m proud of you. I love to watch you play. Sorry it was a tough game but great effort today. Give them a hug.

On a related note, we don’t need to tell you there is zero point in getting mad at your goalie if they have a tough game, do we?

On the other hand sometimes your uber-competetive child will think they had a bad game when really they didn’t. We’ll have more on that next week.

That’s 5 – and there will be (at least) 5 more to come.

What’s on your to-do list for having your best season ever? New Season’s Resolutions?”

Hit me up [email protected]

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