Parents: Tips for coaching your own child with Joey Ali

Joey Ali in the parent segment brought to you by Stop It Goaltending U, the app.

Well, we're double dipping our featured guest this week. I figured what better way to fill in the shoes with Hutch off this week for the goalie parent segment than somebody who is balancing it at the professional level as a goalie coach and still managing his young son who is who has started in the last couple of years playing the position. Joey Ali, that is not an easy thing to balance. Hutch has talked about it before. How do you do it when this is your living and also something you're now doing with your son?

Well, Woody, thanks you guys for having me back on for the segment. Yeah. Definitely a balancing act. You know, I like most like, you know, no. Whether it's my kid or anybody's kid, we always take the same approach.

But on the same note, just like everybody's kid, they don't listen to their parents. So that's always something where we're having a challenge. And for me, when I'm going through that, I have to be mindful of knowing, number one, I love my kid. I love my kid. So I have to be mindful of the fact that I love watching him play.

I love him playing hockey. So am I fostering that environment for him to wanna continue to play for a long time? And if the answer is no, then I'm doing something wrong. So it's really like, you know, reminding myself of that. Like, you know, how much I love him, how much I love watching him play, and will he wanna play this game for a long time?

And if again, you don't have to be mindful of that. So, conscious of how I'm going about it is always an ongoing an ongoing battle for sure.

Any advice on how to make sure you're fostering a fun environment? Because that's ultimately what makes kids wanna keep playing the game. Maybe even it's just like car rides home. Do you have an approach to car rides home as a dad slash goalie coach?

Absolutely. I feel like I have to know when to be coach and when to be dad. And coach is just at the rink. At the rink, little bit after the rink when we're on the ride home, but then dropping it. Like we've had a conversation, we get home, and now he's, you know, he's a 12 year old.

He wants to do his thing. He wants to hang out. And I want him to enjoy the game. So I think one piece of advice is just balancing how much of the game you're talking about in-depth and with the emotion that usually goes into having those conversations with your kids. Limiting those to when the when it's the time as opposed to dragging them out and bringing it up in other situations where maybe hockey is not even the topic of that moment.

So really just being like, hey, at the rink, I think that's a great spot for us as parents to, you know, talk about that topic because it's so relevant. And then, you know, on the ice, of course, it's relevant. And then a little bit after if there's a if there's a need to. And really and with that, also being aware that we're, you know, giving the positive reinforcement along with the negative stuff. Because it for me, personally, I do get you know, we get caught in that trap of, like, hey.

Here's what you could've done. Here's what you could've done. But also being mindful of, like, Mike, think about the good things he's done. Tell him one of those at least. You know?

So that's something where it's it's for parents, I would really recommend finding your spots within the time of the game and then also being sure to you know, with the criticisms, being sure we're giving them what something that they did well to, making it a little easier and and not prolonging those conversations.

The boundaries. Sounds like boundaries for when to have those conversations. And and if you establish them sticking with them, is that key?

Yeah, absolutely. I think that helps with the whole, you know, the parent and child relationship, knowing that they can trust that when we're not there, the relation everything's dropped. So no matter what emotions was that about the game or how we played, positive, negative, we're into now back to you being a kid. Is your homework done? You might have played a great game.

You rocked it out. Now we're at home. Hockey's done. Is your homework done? Okay.

It's not doesn't mean you get a free pass because you played beer hockey. Or on the flip side, you know, you you had a bad day, and now there's something good positive. You're going to birthday party. Well, let's not dampen that moment. You're going to a birthday party.

Have a good time, kid. Enjoy your time with your friends. Hockey's done. It's over. So, you know, so again, those moments are really important.

Like, you said it best, the boundaries. Having those boundaries and being able to parent and coach within them, allowing them to not carry over those feelings over to the next moment of their life. And they might be having a sleepover or might have some fun stuff going on and it gets dampered. Or on this flip side, them not doing what they're supposed to do as little kids, maybe chore wise, and being like, oh, you got a freebie. No.

You that's on your list to do.

Love it. Love it. Joy, this is fantastic advice. I can't thank you enough for, joining us, obviously, for the feature interview, which will come up shortly here on this episode of the InGoal Radio Podcast for joining us for the for the parent segment as well. Thank you, Joey.

Thank you, Woody.