341 Parents: Car ride home Playoff edition

Cofounder of ingoalmag.com. It's David Hutchison.

Thank you, Daren. Today, we're talking about The Car Ride Home Playoff Edition. We've, we've talked about The Car Ride Home before, and most of you know the basics. I will actually point out that Brian Daccord has a great article on InGoal about The Car Ride Home. He's actually got a bit of a different take on it than most of you would think.

Just tease you with that one and suggest you go search it out over at ingoalmag.com and see what Brian has to say about the car ride home. So the basics, you don't coach, you don't critique, you let your kids lead. But playoffs, they have a way of making us forget everything that we already know. Emotions are bigger. The games feel like they matter more.

And suddenly, that twenty minute drive home, it becomes a bit of a minefield for us. Whether your goalie just made 30 saves in a win or let in the one that ended the night. The core problem is playoffs change the temperature for parents. By the way, guys, you might be thinking to yourselves that it's a little crazy I'm talking about playoffs because you live in the NHL world, but for a lot of minor hockey organizations, they are in playoffs. Some teams are done already.

Crazy, it seems to me in the February.

I cover the Canucks, Hutch. I'm like, playoffs?

Yeah. That too. Anyway, during the regular

season, That was funny.

Yeah. It was. It was good. During the says the cocky guy from Vegas. During the regular season, every game blends together.

But in elimination hockey, things get amplified. It's a big win and you wanna celebrate every save. It's a tough loss and you wanna jump in there as a parent and fix it. Both impulses come from the same place of course and that's that we all care. But both can also create problems.

So after a great game, you're really tempted to pile on the praise. You were amazing. That glove save in the second, unbelievable. And we all do it and it feels harmless, but here's the thing. When you go big after a win, you set a standard.

Your goalie starts to wonder what it sounds like when you don't say those things. Silence after the next game might suddenly mean something to them that it shouldn't. So here's the advice. First, be the same parent after every game. That's the goal.

Same energy after a shutout, same energy after a five goal night. Your goalie should never have to guess which version of you is picking them up. Consistency is what makes you safe. I'm not saying be boring. I'm not saying don't care, but let's try and be consistent.

Second, let them set the tone. If they're pumped, you can be pumped with them. If they're quiet, let just be comfortable in that quiet and let them be themselves. If they want to break down every goal, then listen. Your job isn't to steer the conversation, it's to meet them where they are.

Third, watch your body language. You might not say a word, but if you're either bouncing off the walls or white knuckling that steering wheel on the way home, they're gonna feel it. Your energy becomes their energy. Take a breath before you start the car, win or lose. Fourth, don't make any single game bigger than it is.

That's advice I've given before. Right? Long before the car ride home, the night before a playoff game, don't be saying it's a big game tomorrow. Better get to bed early. We want them to learn how to be the same energy all the time.

A playoff win is exciting. A season ending is sad. Both emotions are allowed, but neither defines your kid. The way you react to the highs and lows teaches them how to frame all of it for the rest of their playing career and and away from the rink too. So to close it up, here's the thing about the car ride home in the playoffs.

Your goalie is learning how to handle pressure, big moments, high stakes situations. It's an unbelievable life skill. And the biggest influence on how they learned to carry those moments, it's you.

Your goalie is learning how to handle pressure, big moments, high stakes situations. It's an unbelievable life skill. And the biggest influence on how they learned to carry those moments, it's you. So be steady, be present, and be the same parent in that car no matter what the scoreboard said. That's the real win.

Play offs.

You know you know what Hutch basically just told us, Woody?

What's up?

Junior's going home with mom. We'll we'll just have to set the fire.

Yeah. I know. All I heard when he said consistent, I'm like, okay. So silent treatment. What?

You know what I used to do? I I would I would be at, like, Wendy's for the frosty after bad games, and I I think she thought it was better to be have the off games than the good games because we didn't get the frosty after good games. I was all excited. I wanna get home and talk about it.

I'm glad you frosty because we do that too.

I'm building her up with the frosty and everything like that,

and she's like, this is cool.

I'm I'm consistent, Daren. Oh, you frosty win or lose? Yo. Jeez. Yeah.

We gotta celebrate frosty. Had a tough game frosty. Let's go.

Good for you. Except for when the ice cream machine's down, which at one of the establishments is every

day. You're coming out of a cold rink as a parent, like, huddled in there trying to stay warm and you're getting a frosty post game?

I do like my frosties.

Love them. Chocolate frosty.

Never had a frosty post game. Never. Really?

No. Think I had one last week.

When's your next skate?

My wife's a little bit of a health freak. Let's not we well, you just We definitely didn't take the kids for Frostys. Let me tell you that.

Just make sure you throw out the cups.

You missed out.

We were we were more you know what? Honestly, I was a little more Brad Marchand. I was a Dairy Queen Blizzard guy, but it was never sort of necessarily a post game thing.

He's a little bit more che che Vancouver, and they go for sushi after the games. I bet you anything.

Well, that's just dinner.