Episode 367 Parents: Mindset Is a Goaltending Superpower

That's that's true. Well, speaking of old and wise, let's go to the parent segment. And, of course, it's brought to you by somebody who, like us, is old and wiser. And if you would like his experience, twenty five years plus of NHL goalie coaching experience at your fingertips. If you would like to tap into the goalie parenting expertise that helped Joey Daccord reach the National Hockey League.

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This week, am talking about mindset as a superpower. I sat down actually to plan a segment on routines. Of course, routines are fantastic. They're they're there to support us. But there's a line when a routine stops becoming a support for you and as we know it becomes a superstition.

And sometimes, maybe a goalie will end up playing poorly simply because something got in the way of that superstition or or that ritual. As I was writing it though, I realized the interesting part isn't really the routine, it's the mindset beneath it. So that's where we're gonna go today. It's really easy as a parent or as a coach to say, don't be a slave to your routine. Don't let it throw you when something breaks.

You know, like there's no chicken at home for the standard pregame meal or mom can't get out of work in time to get to the rink as early as you'd like or gosh, maybe even your favorite socks have been stolen by the family dog. Whatever it is, everyone agrees with the advice, but agreeing with it and actually having the mindset to handle it are two very different things. And one word of encouragement from a parent, from a coach, or a podcast doesn't suddenly build your mindset. So that got me thinking about something that I've always done with the athletes I've coached and including our own son. You might even call it a routine of mine.

I remind them routinely that their mindset is their superpower. Not once, as often as I can. And especially whenever something happens that gives me some evidence to point at because here's the difference. It's one thing to say, don't let a break in your routine derail you. It's another thing though to be able to say, I'm really impressed with how mentally strong you are.

You never get upset when we can't get to the rink at the perfect time. It's the same idea, but one is an instruction, do this. The other is evidence, I see you doing this. It's a not so subtle reframe and I think it's a very powerful one because the more someone hears things said about who they are, especially when there's evidence to back those things up, the more those things start to stick. And that's how an identity gets built.

An identity is a lot sturdier than a piece of advice. Our good friend Pete Fry talks about affirmations. He has his goalies look in the mirror every night and say something that builds that identity. I am a great goalie. He's the one I remember most because, let's be honest, it feels a little silly.

But it works well enough that he has goalies doing it all the way up to the National Hockey League. As a parent and as a coach, I think we get to play that same role, but from the outside. Confidence can absolutely start with saying I'm a great goalie, but I think it really grows when there's evidence behind it. And I'm not talking about empty praise here. You don't just tell your goalie they're mentally tough because you want them to be mentally tough.

You gotta catch them proving it. Then you make sure they know you noticed. Maybe they give up a tough goal and instead of falling apart, they settle in and make three big saves. That's your opportunity. I was so impressed tonight.

That goal had to be frustrating and you obviously didn't let it get to you. You got right back to work. That ability is really one of your superpowers. Now, maybe they don't get the start they wanted and they're generally happy for their goalie partner this season. Well, point it out.

Maybe a coach says something that they don't agree with, but instead of arguing or sulking, they listen and get back to work. Point it out. Maybe the pregame routine gets completely blown up and they shrug their shoulders and go out and play. Point it out. You're collecting the evidence, and I'll go looking for those opportunities proactively as well.

So if I hear something like, oh, the ice is terrible out there. I might come back with, that's awesome. You're mentally strong enough to handle it and that tells you something else. You've got an advantage because the guy at the other end is probably upset about it. Now, the bad ice isn't something happening to them, it's an opportunity.

And I think that's ultimately what we're trying to build. Not a goalie who never gets frustrated, not a goalie who doesn't care when things go wrong, not some robot who's completely unaffected by everything around them, but a goalie who knows they can handle it. And the more evidence they collect that says, I'm good at handling this stuff, the stronger that belief or that identity becomes. That's my playbook for this week. Watch for the moments your goalies handle something well and tell them what you saw, not what they should do, but what they already did.

Give them the evidence over and over again until eventually they don't need you to tell them anymore. They already know my mindset is my superpower.

That's great advice. I'm starting to realize that what's the opposite of a superpower? Is my mindset my arch nemesis?

There you go.

Is is my mindset my Lex Luther because I do none of those things in a positive environment? Especially when we started talking about the ice conditions. They don't have the proper pegs. They won't let me put in the proper pegs. Oh, the nets are so beat up at the bottom, my proper pegs don't fit.

Pegs are on all the wrong things.

The peg's a great example.

It is because it's frustrating when you don't get them.

But yeah. But if so what? You kick the net off by doing something perfectly legal, that's not a goal. Now, if the referee calls it a goal in that situation, maybe it's okay to get a little upset because you don't know what's gonna happen down at the other end of the ice because sometimes that's random chance, but, that's one of the toughest situations ever. Watched it, happen about a dozen times last night in fact.

Okay. Hold on a second here. I'm just writing this down. Hutch says it's okay to maybe be a little upset.... Snap show Woody is alright if they only have crappy pegs dot dot dot.....

No. No. No. No. If if then the referee allows a goal that should not be allowed.

Dot dot dot. Note to self, snap tastic with officials is going to be just fine, says Hutch.

Occasionally, yes. I'm just looking for I'm looking for

permissions to for my Lex Luther mindset to come through to the forefront here, Mr Hutchison.

Whatever you think, Lex. Yeah.