285 Parents: Some advice when you feel the referee isn’t doing enough to protect your child

So hope you got something out of it in the audio version as well. Okay. This week there's a lot of parents in tournaments and I've heard from some already who are a little frustrated about their kids getting banged up and the referee is not blowing that whistle fast enough. So I thought we might address that a little bit in this week's parent segment presented by our good friends at Stop It Goaltending U, the app, Woody.

Yeah. You know, we over at Stop It Goaltending U, the app, in addition to every subscription coming with a subscription to InGoal Magazine premium content and all those ProReads that I just talked about, it's included with your sub to SIGU, the app. But I think maybe this week after they listen to the parent segment, they wanna check out last week's primers, the daily primers. Every week at Stop It Goaltending U, the app, they have daily primers, quick one minute plus videos that you can watch to sort of reset yourself. Sometimes it's mindset.

Last week was gratitude. I feel like that might be a big one for all those parents who are worried about how the referees are treating their kids in the crease. So five parts on gratitude. This week, they're looking at habits. Daily habits for hydration, sleep, nutrition, training, game day.

They've also got longer deep dives. If you wanna spend a little more time on video, you get the one minute daily primers, then they've got a longer deep dive. Anthony Stolarz of the Toronto Maple Leafs, currently recovering from a knee surgery out four to six, but they take a look at his playbook, how he manages different situations, advice, things you can glean from that that will translate to your game. And if you wanna look at last week's deep dive, they took a look at Jeremy Swayman and the difference between drifting and holding your feet, sort of retreating or as they call it in Boston, recoil versus holding your edges and holding your feet in the face of an attack. So a really good video breakdown there as well.

That's the type of content you get weekly at Stop It Goaltending U, the app. And, of course, like I said, with your subscription, it always includes a subscription to us. InGoal Magazine premium, where you get the ProReads, the ProDrills, the Pro Gear Hutch. We got a great little one where Spencer Knight walks us through Sergei Bobrovsky's stick handle this week live at ingoalmag.com. It's a great breakdown that we bring you, and, of course, it's included with your Stop It Goaltending U the app subscription as well.

So make sure you check them out now. Available on the Apple Store or wherever you normally access apps. I gotta be honest, as an Apple guy, I'm not even sure what that's called. Google Play Store, I guess, Hutch, for the rest of the I think so.

Yeah. So one of wherever

you touch.

Wherever you get your apps, go look up Stop It Goaltending U, app, and download it now.

You just have to get your weekly newsletter from InGoal, and there's a link right in there that takes you straight to the page where you can get get the app. I loved the Spencer Knight piece you did, Woody, this week because it sort of embodies everything that was the intent behind InGoal when we started. It was, you're privileged enough to be in the locker room, all these guys with all these guys and we wanted that ability to bring everybody along with us and let them enjoy that experience too. And there's a video shot right in there with Spencer walking us through a stick just like we're we're all along for the ride with you, Woody.

Different access, different guys, different rooms, different openness on that kind of But Spencer's Spencer's been so supportive of us for all these years. Dating back to his draft, remember the interviews we had heading into his draft That's right.

Which was here in Vancouver. Getting to cover that was a real privilege. I'm just I'm really I'm fond of this young man. I really like his attitude, his approach. I like his game.

I lot I love a lot about what he brings to the position, including the mindset and, of course, the openness to share time with us in ingoalmag.com, and the premium product and, obviously, the subscription product. And, Spencer, we can't thank you enough for taking the time to do that. I think it's a really cool one because, obviously, we've heard a lot about Bob's paddle and sort of the uniqueness of the slope shoulders. We've seen CCM make it a stock option that that more heavily slope shoulder on their latest XF pro sticks. But I love adding the custom tape and how he mixes in sort of grip tape with regular well, in this case, not regular, panthers colored red sock tape to add a little bit of slide and slippiness so that the hand doesn't get locked into one position as well as explaining to us when he uses the different positions holding his stick along that slope shoulder situationally.

So you can check it all out at ingoalmag.com. But, Hutch, I've digressed significantly here. I need to hear about the parent segment, and I need to hear about referees not giving your or protecting your goalies enough because that's something I've experienced in beer league. I tend to run a little hot, though. I'm wondering if parents are doing the same.

Oh, you do. And people are really experiencing the full InGoal thing right here, aren't they? As we just hop from topic to topic and and, this is what a day in the car with Woody and I is.

This is what happens. Daren's not here to keep us on the rails.

That's right. That's right. Okay. Here we go this week for the parents. I might lose my goalie parent union membership this week, Woody.

But the first thing I'm going to say is that we all need to take a breath. Go watch a junior hockey game, go watch an NHL game. Maybe if you're lucky enough, go watch Kevin Woodley play beer league. Players are crashing the crease, falling on the goalie accidentally on purpose, jamming at pucks until well after whistles. I've always lived by that mantra of begin with the end in mind, Kevin.

And we all want our kids to play at the highest level if that's their dream. So how do we prepare them for it? Now, I'm not saying that the standard should be the same as it is for the pros, not at all. But what can we do to prepare our kids for it? If you find yourself getting mad as players are trying to dislodge the puck from under pads and gloves and they're slashing away at the goalie and so on, try and remember, they have well protected gloves, they have well protected arms, and aside from the occasional surprise or stinger that slips through the cracks, they're not gonna get hurt.

Certainly no more than any player engaged in multiple puck battles a game in the corner. A side note to this, five and six year olds don't always have gear that protects them very well and should be playing in a more controlled environment. And if they're not, you need to have a quiet conversation with the coach and just make sure that they understand that. But for the rest of us, let's try and help them learn the right mindset. And that's to love the battle that's happening in front of the net, to know it's to their advantage as a goaltender if they don't care what's happening there or if they even love it.

With the very rare exception, goalies who get upset Kevin, goalies who get frustrated by the all all the action around them, let in more pucks. They get more angry and everything that happens around them, they let even more pucks in. So it's gonna happen. And the only way our kid comes out on top is to let it be water under the bridge. Gone are the days of Ron Hextall, Billy Smith and Kevin Woodley.

How often do you see an NHL goalie today lashing out and slashing players? Kevin, how often does it happen? Guy doesn't like his gloves being slashed. Do you see him pulling the lumber out anymore? Not really.

Elvis had a couple of good moments that everybody applauded. It's couple. It's pretty few and far between these days. And why is that?

Because it's a distraction and it doesn't help you stop the puck. So as with almost all things that seem like adversity on the ice, find a way to turn them to your advantage by developing the mindset that you just don't care or maybe that you even love it. Now to the parents that are upset that the whistle isn't blowing fast enough, there is no actual rule about it. Yes, they're supposed to blow the whistle when they lose sight of the puck, but there is a degree of judgment involved in that. So if the ref has a slow whistle, getting upset is of zero value to you.

Is it going to help change the way they officiate? No. Is it going to help teach your child to deal with the situation better? No. Have you ever heard of a parent complaining about an official ever helping?

Probably not. The only thing that you can do here is to help your child learn to look past it and not care or even love it. Don't encourage them to fight back. The pros don't do it. So why is it going to help a kid?

Now, I know what Woody's thinking here. What about guys running into the goalie and crashing the crease? Hate to say it, but I pretty much have the same advice. There are dangerous situations and of course we don't want our kids getting concussed and the coach should have a conversation with the officials to make sure that they protect your kid. But there's nothing you can do on your side to help your kid deal with it except to help them learn to love the situation as best they can.

No, they're not gonna love the headshots, but to be proud of them when they look past it and they get up and do their job as best they can. So as my kid was growing up, I'd reinforce when he did things well. As I've said here before, I try to catch them being good. So I might say something like, I loved it when you were laughing after that crease battle. You must really frustrate the other team when you do that.

Or some other variation. I might say, I know it's no fun when guys crash into you, but the way you just stayed focused and got ready for the next play was amazing. So get them the best equipment that you can afford, get a helmet that fits, gloves that protect, and then teach them to battle, not literally Kevin, and to enjoy the battle. That is the only way to turn a disadvantage into a positive for your child. And yes, I know as a parent, it's frustrating.

None of us like to see our child get hurt, but we're no example to our kid getting upset outwardly. We teach them with our behavior. We're no help to them or to ourselves by keeping it bottled up inside either. So years later and plenty of frustration later, I promise you, I'm no different than anybody else here. When there's a battle in front of my kid's net and a two hundred pound 20 year old is crashing into him, I simply reflect on it and say, I know he loves this.

The other team thinks they're getting under his skin, but they're only making him more powerful. So hang in there. It's a tough journey everybody, but you're gonna get through it.

Don't be Woody. And actually, you know, it's funny. Like, the Jeremy Swayman, two years ago in the playoffs, I think it was game seven. Florida ties the game late. I can't remember if was the game tying goal or the winning goal. And I don't mean to pick on him, but I know he's talked about this since.

But there was a moment there where the ultimate rat, and I say that with great affection, Matthew Tkachuk, who was all over the crease and all over the goaltenders, where he had a moment where he was distracted, and I think he took a swipe at him. And in that moment, the puck was shot and then ends up in the net. I may not be remembering this exactly, but it was along those lines of that brief, I'm gonna take a swipe at you at the top of my crease rather than focus on stopping the puck was costly in a critical moment. So learning to let that go really is important. And as I said, don't be woody.

Before quitting beer league because I recognized that the idiots that crashed the crease, if the referees weren't going to handle it and there wasn't gonna be any protection, I just got tired of fighting it. So I just play a different organized hockey now and not at the beer league level because there's no point in fighting city hall, so to speak. But my old mantra used to be, okay, if you're not gonna call it, then the next time he does it, because inevitably the same idiot will do it over and over again, I'm just gonna make sure that my stick is up near his teeth as he cuts through. And

Don't teach your kids to do that.

Definitely don't teach your kids to do that. All it ends up doing is costing me goals and creating brouhaha's around the crease, and I didn't even get to knock any teeth out when I did it. So didn't do me any good, didn't help me, just letting goals, just led to more frustration, and probably not my finest moment. So don't be witty, do as Hutch does, follow his advice. I'm the idiot in this equation and not the one to look up to.

Yes. Well, do as I say, not as I do because I have definitely been scored on because I've been too busy slashing away at guys in front of me. Because we hear from guys on our team and coaches who think it's cool and they don't realize the implications of what's really happening when you get distracted.

Yeah. The old cup check the old cup check on the screen is a good one every once in a while.

I'll take the fifth on that one.

Just don't get caught. That's good. That that's the one they're gonna call. And listen and and I'm joking. Obviously, I'm kidding around.

But in all seriousness, if you engage and then that like you said, Hutch, 20 year old 200 lb falls on your knees when you're in a butterfly, which is maybe the worst thing we can have happen, you've given them a reason. You've given them excuse and probably given the officials a chance to not make a call when they retaliate.

Well, quite frank frankly, you're probably gonna lose that battle. My my my kid, as a 12 year old, got asked to, go out to a captain's skate with a Junior A team here in town. Didn't have a goalie in town. And, there was a 20 year old who just come out of the Western Hockey League standing in front of his net and he was whacking away at this kid and whacking away at this kid. And I said, buddy, he's going to turn around and you're going to lose that battle real fast.

So he still didn't really care because he loves the battle, but, you got to be careful out there folks. Look, it is time to get to our feature interview and I'm really excited to hear from Raygan Kirk.