The Stuff That Lasts (Parents, Ep. 373)

There's there's not a lot of talking on the other one. When we get to, the parent segment, brought to you by Stop It Goaltending U the app. Hutch, you got something, cool today, presented by Stop It Goaltending U the app, our good friends.

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I love waiting for Daren to just say, Hutch.

This week's Parent Playbook, I have titled the stuff that lasts. Just before sitting down to record this episode, I picked up an old friend at the airport. Guy and I met when we were about 11. I'm almost 60 now. That's nearly fifty years.

We only lived in the same city for two years. It was hockey that brought us together. Shout out, Streetsville Minor Hockey in Mississauga, Ontario. But it didn't stick by accident. Our parents made it happen.

They organized visits throughout the year even though we lived in different cities. They they were friends themselves. I'm not sure Guy and I would still be friends if they hadn't done that. I talk to goalie parents all the time, and I know what we worry about. Is my kid starting?

What's the save percentage? Is the other goalie getting more starts? But, honestly, do you remember your start... Stats from when you were 11, guys? I don't.

I was really good.

I remember... Yeah. And and Woody didn't play at all. I remember who was in the room. That's what hockey gives our kids that last the longest, and it never shows up on a score sheet.

And for goalies, that person, not in this case with my good friend Guy, that person most likely to become a lifelong friend is often the one we're tempted to see as competition, and that's the other goalie. Couple of nights ago, my wife Jill and I turned on YouTube to watch an NCAA game at the University of Alaska Fairbanks. We were watching Joey Rocha, who was our son Matthew's goalie partner way back in u fifteen. That year, they split the net, and Joey, being the older of the two, got most of the bigger games. Turns out later on, they went on to face each other in the Western Hockey League, and today, they're still best of friends, and they talk all of the time.

I'm not saying we did anything special as parents. A lot of that is really just who Matthew and Joey are as people. But make no mistake, both those kids wanted the net every night. What they figured out and what a lot of us adults struggle with is that competition and friendships aren't the opposite. You can want the same net as somebody and still be in their corner.

If Jill and I did one thing, it was that we stayed out of the way. And that's harder than it sounds. When your kid's sitting and the other goalie's playing, everything in you wants to do something about it. It's easy to say something in the car on the way home or start counting starts or comment about the other kid or their parents. Every goalie parent feels that pull, but our kids pick up on all of it.

So here's my challenge this week. Would you be comfortable if your kid heard everything you said about the other goalie? Would you be comfortable if the other goalie's parents heard it? Then go do the positive stuff. Say yes to the goalie camp and not just for the skill work.

The kids your goalie meets at goalie school are the same kids they're gonna be facing from the other end of the rink for years, and there's a special bond as we all know between goaltenders. Say yes to the sleepover at the other goalie's house and to the team dinner and whatever it is that you're doing together so you make sure your goalie isn't just the goalie at the end of the bench. And when someone moves away or switches teams, help them stay in touch. That's what makes these friendships survive or disappear, and it's exactly what my good friend Guy's parents and mine did for us. The drives, the visits, the phone calls.

As a parent that's not getting in the way, that's where a little parent involvement can go a long way. This week, I get to spend some time with my friend, somebody I met at age 11 because of this game. Neither of us are gonna bring bringing up any scores or any games, and I bet that forty years from now, our son Matthew and his buddy Joey won't either. That's the stuff that lasts. Help your kid find it.

Well said. One of my best buddies, on the planet. There's a group of, four of us. He's he's my, goalie partner when we were 12. We only played one year together.

He's still my best friend.

That's awesome. Yeah. Same story. That's fantastic. I love it.

We don't have any friends. That we used to play with.

Is that back in Brandon? What

was that? What do

I saying I I don't have any friends, but the... It's funny that we we do have a little group, like, for our two skates. There's a group of, like, four or five goalies. We're always making sure we got at least two guys for the skates. And, you know, sometimes, like, there's seniority, certain guys are supposed to get in.

We're always kinda working together to make sure that, you know, make sure that everybody's getting involved and everybody's getting a chance to play. And, like, some of them have become guys that I lean on, you know, personally over the years, whether you're going through a tough time or whatever. So it's funny how it is. The union is strong. We call it a union for a reason.

Yeah. We're independent contractors working together, supporting each other. NHL Sense Arena feature interview, this week, Shane Clifford. But first, a word from NHL Sense Arena. Hutch.