Podcast Segment for Goalie Parents – Episode 263

Hutch, jumping off the Bill Ranford q and a at Tendy Fest.

Yeah. Bill brought us a a little tip last week, when we were talking about goalies who are maybe frustrated with teammates. It was a specific question from the Q and A about, what do I do when my teammate scores on me? I loved Bill had so many good tips for parents as part of that full hour Q and A that InGoal members can watch over at InGoal Magazine. He had so many good tips that I thought we'd we'd go to the well again and pull another one out this week.

And this week I would like to talk about being a goalie parent and dealing with negative talk about your child. One parent at the Q and A was asking specifically about this situation, what do I do? And as as goalie parents, we know that, you know, that could be out and out chirping of a goaltender sadly on the ice, even in minor hockey from the stands. Sometimes it's that quiet chitter chatter that happens in the stands that you as a parent know is happening, about your child and that could be uncomfortable. I I can't say that in minor hockey we had to endure this too much with our kid, but we certainly saw it happen.

And, and now that he's playing it at a higher level, he sure gets it from the crowd a lot. But maybe we can save that for another segment when we talk about supporting our kid dealing with, the chirps that are coming from the stands. But first, before I get into my little bit guys, let's just listen to what Bill had to say. So here here's a funny story. My only all star game I played at was with Chicago and Ed Belfour was supposed was was the big superstar there at the time and I got voted in ahead of him and was my wife and I were walking on the bus and there's some reporter behind us kind of chirping a little bit and stuff and she accidentally stepped back on his foot with her high heels.

That was her way of dealing with it. But I think the goalie parent is probably one of the toughest because everybody hears it, Goal gets scored. Oh, everybody's groaning. Just sit in your own area. Find a nice quiet spot, cheer your son on, don't listen to the noise.

I think that's the best way because you're going to hear it. It's the toughest thing. Parents ask me that all the time. I said, just try and find a quiet spot because it's going to happen. It's amazing to me to think that a parent or in this case, a spouse would have to deal with this even at the National Hockey League level.

But then when you think about it, guys, it kind of makes sense because when you hop on social media, you listen to talk radio, even a broadcast of a game, we live in an environment where people really like to pick these young athletes apart. And many of them really are are so young. I mean, you could play in the National Hockey League at 18 and have somebody picking your game apart. As much as somebody might say, well, he's getting well paid. He should put up with it.

It's hard for for any person to deal with it at any age. And I find as my son gets closer in age to to these kids that are playing pro now, I find it increasingly uncomfortable, watching things like the draft to see how we're picking these young men apart. And I find that that attitude filters down to minor hockey, sadly, even if it's not intentional as people start picking kids apart. So first off, I wanted to give Woody some credit here today, guys, because from day one of InGoal, he has wanted everything we do to be positive. So he writes articles to talk about goalies and coaches and what it is that they do well.

He's not talking about what they're not doing well. He specifically created ProReads in response to all the negativity on the Internet. He wanted goalies to be able to sit down and talk about what they were doing well so we can learn in a positive light. And as you know, I'm always talking about catching kids being good and how much that will help. So to all parents, goalies, others out there, I do want to say, please be better.

As we know, we need more kids playing goal and more parents to be okay with their kids playing goal. But more importantly, we're talking about kids. And out and out chirping might be rarer, but even that chatter in the crowd, it's not right. And in my mind, if you wouldn't say it to somebody's face, you shouldn't say it at all. Let's also be honest that it happens to players too.

I know it's magnified a little bit as a goalie parent when you hear some of that chatter, but but players deal with it too. You you hear in the stands people wondering why such and such a forward is on the ice so much. We hear people talking about why is that defenseman out there on the penalty kill? Even when ice time should be equal a minor hockey. And so players are dealing with people questioning things all the time just as we are as goalies.

So I I just don't want people walking away from this thinking that if you're a goalie parent, you deal with things that others don't because it's just difficult being a sport parent in general. And maybe it's magnified a bit for goalies, but it's it's difficult for athletes in all sports and parents in all sports. So what's my advice to goalie parents about this issue? I think in general, Bill has it right. It's probably why you can walk into any rink anytime and you see those people standing in the corner at ice level.

And I'm always pretty safe walking up saying, oh, would you happen to be the goalie parent? It's a nice way for us to find each other in that little corner club there, as we're away from the other fans doing our best to support our kid as well. And whether it's in the corner with your kid or somewhere else, you want to be there for your child. Maybe in another session, I can talk about why it is that I moved away from standing in the corner, but that but that's a bit of a different issue. But let's not be part of the problem.

One thing I would like to ask everybody is that when other parents talk to you about your child and maybe it's couched in a positive way, hey, your little Johnny should be the one playing today or anything else that comes across as complimenting your child, but it's kind of veiled criticism of their goalie partner. Don't participate or feed in that at all. It it feels good because you want your kid to be seen in a positive light, but but we can't be out there helping other people criticize other goalies if we don't want them doing that to our child as well. We gotta help that environment be better for everybody, including the players. So let's not be part of that chitter chatter about forwards and defensemen out there as well, even if we feel like having an excuse to, to blame somebody else for how our child's game is going.

So as Bill suggested, maybe it's best just to walk away and be on your own so that you don't have to deal with some of that chatter. But where you can, everybody, please, let's do our best to make sport a better place for everybody. Let's support each other. Let's make the environment better for all kids and all families because we know the whole point is we want them out there having fun, enjoying our great game.

Oh, man. I thought we're gonna talk about throwing hands. Well

And stick to Woody right away.

It's it's pretty great. It's pretty tempting, but I don't wanna be on one of those viral Instagram videos throwing hands in the crowd, Woody.

Plus, I'm super soft so I get my ass kicked.

It's tempting.

Well, if they're coming up to you and giving you the compliment by tearing somebody else down, you know that if your kid has a rough game, they're gonna do the exact same thing to somebody else. So Yeah. Don't buy into it.

Yeah. It's great advice, Hutch.

And don't be that person either. The other part is I I do believe that it happens to players, skaters, more than goaltenders. It's it's magnified with goaltenders, but because there's more defensemen and skaters out there, that chatter tends to happen a lot more. So you're right not to just focus it on the the person in the crease.

Yeah. It's it's definitely look, it's tough as a goalie parent because you see the puck go in the net and and you feel bad and you assume everybody's pointing at your child. But, yeah, as you say, it happens to all kids and I think even more now, as we've said before, as things are magnified on broadcast because there's a camera on every player and there's fancy stats being taken on every player, people get picked apart all the time. I really like it when we're watching the draft and people talk about what it is that kids do well. So let's let's really focus on the things that kids are doing well and the rest of the stuff will take care of itself.

Right. Woody has always been positive. Even if there's something that's gone a little bit sideways with that particular athlete or that team, there has been the overwhelming emphasis to make sure that that the object or subject is portrayed in a positive attitude, which which goes totally against Woody's actions on the ice. It's it's incredible. The he's such a example of do as I say, not as I as I do.

The ultimate example

of that. Never negative. Never.

Yeah. It's I don't know who this positive person you're talking about is, but he might be real. I don't know how he's related to me. I you know what I mean? I I I think you're right.

Like, ProReads was about all these people on the Internet saying, oh, you should do this. You should have done that. And until you know what the goalie's thought process was, you can't say what was right, what was wrong, or what where that breakdown occurred. And ironically, not to point out the other players, but, like, maybe he's in this position because somebody else is supposed to be in that position, and this is how the system works.

Team system.

Yeah. Yeah, it started with basically just us wanting to give them the opportunity to explain it, and it quickly turned into, wow, you can learn a ton about how goalies read the game by watching this stuff. So, it's worked out really well, I think, for us, and it's worked out. The goalies seem to really love it, and hopefully well, so far, all the feedback says our audience does too.

And thanks to Bill Ranford. That on ice presentation at TendyFest, I've watched it three times. It's it's it's fabulous, and the gift of his interaction with parents and the goaltenders in the q and a was awesome.

He's been a great person for InGoal from pretty much from day one. Remember we had one of those, we had a virtual sort of Gear Segment where people could drop in and just chat with Woody about anything and who just showed up without us even realizing he was coming, but Bill Ranford. It was, it's fun to see who shows up as part of the InGoal community.

And one of the coolest offices or man caves that I've ever seen.

Oh, yeah. The coolest.