Podcast Segment for Goalie Parents – Episode 277

Lean into that, your game gets better. Lean into the layers of resources there, and you'll build some confidence, which is where David Hutchison comes in.

I'm going to. And just before I do that, guys, I don't know if either of you know this, but I got an email from one of the Canadian provincial associations this week. I'm not gonna say which one yet until it's absolutely signed, sealed, and delivered, but, they are gonna be sending out some summaries of some of our parent segments in their regular goalie development newsletters for all their goaltenders and families. So really cool to hear that what we're doing here is making an impression and it's gonna be around to help out a whole lot of goaltenders. And we do similar sorts of things with the formal agreements that we have with some other hockey associations and some goalie schools who provide InGoal for all of their students.

So anybody out there would like to talk to us, please let us know. But this week, one of the most common questions I get guys is about helping kids build confidence in some tough times. And I was reminded last night, here it comes, as I was watching hockey night in Canada, and Kevin Bieksa mentioned having an index card in his tape bag throughout his career. And the first line on it was one mistake, not two. As a reminder that it's okay to make mistakes, that you can recover from them, just try not to make two.

And he wasn't so much going into the whole idea of mental health, but he alluded and then pointed out the card that Kelly Hrudey has on set and he's carried for many years. And, it was an idea understand that he got from Tony Robbins back when Kelly played for the Los Angeles Kings, and he was feeling like he wasn't the goaltender that he should be, did not have the confidence that you might expect an NHL goalie would have. His story is a powerful one. We told part of it on the InGoal Radio Podcast. We'll link to that episode when Kelly was so kind as to join us.

Because after ten years in the NHL, as I said, he wasn't feeling like he was good enough and had same sorts of confidence struggles that young goaltenders can have as well. So Kelly carries around a card with some very personal things written on it to sort of reinforce his confidence and his strength and his ability. It also reminded me of Pete Fry, our good friend Pete, who part of his Goalie Mindset academy has his students do regular affirmations. And look, for some goalies, it sounds a little silly, but he has them look in the mirror and say, I am a great goalie. I am powerful.

And various other things that help that individual goaltender reinforce who they are as a person and and as a goaltender. Other people suggest pinning a card like Bieksa and Hrudey have on the bathroom mirror for similar reasons. It's a place you stop by several times a day and you can just get that gentle reminder as to what it is that you feel you are and need to be and want to be. It all sounds a little bit uncomfortable, but consider guys the book. I don't know if you've read it.

Atomic Habits by James Clear, I think it is. And he talks about as part of building strong habits, it's easier just to take on a persona. And an example might be, and I'm not sure if this one's in the book, but it came to mind, you want to be a marathon runner. It can take months or it can take years of daily training and healthy eating and racing for a lot of people to feel like they've earned the title marathon runner before they finally get out there and do that 42 kilometers. It's a huge challenge to go through all of that.

Well, Clear would tell you, just tell yourself self every day that you are a marathon runner. And trust me, living the life of one becomes much much easier. I've done similar sort of things, but I'm not gonna bore you with my my story. So so how does this apply to your young goaltender? I would encourage you to work with your young goalie to start telling themselves whatever positive message that you and they decide that they need every morning and every night.

Write a few phrases down, maybe on one of those index cards and keep it somewhere with you. On your desk as you're doing your homework, on the bathroom mirror as we mentioned, or maybe inside your phone case. And maybe it's a message like Pete's, I am a great goalie, or maybe it's something more specific that you need to be reminded of. I belong with my double a team. Next year, I'm gonna strive for something else and I can do this.

Whatever that might be, find the correct phrase for you. I would say though, you don't need to say I am an NHL goalie or I am the best goalie in the world because you know what? It's okay to reach for the stars, but it's also okay if your goals are different. You don't all have to feel you need it to make to the National Hockey League to feel like you've succeeded. I've told many goalies in the past simply to smile as a reminder to relax.

You can't smile and be tense at the same time, and it also helps you have fun. So maybe that's something. We've published articles in the past along this line. Rick DiPietro, for example, on his blocker, I believe it was, had written, take it one puck at a time. Or Eric Comrie, who Kevin just brought up.

I think it's on his stick, breathe, centered. It's a message that's changed over time, but it's a message, a mantra, something that helps them. And Corey Schneider, I think we kicked this all off with back in the day when we showed that CCM had actually stitched into his blocker for him. Don't fear failure. Compete a 100%.

Enjoy the process. Play for others. There's all sorts of different ways that you can remind yourself of that important message. And over time, little by little, it's not gonna come tomorrow. We can't sit down and have a conversation with our child and turn them into a confident goaltender.

But over time, this regular reinforcement of positive messages, I believe, will help them. Just a few simple ideas to help your young goaltender with confidence. Whatever you do though, as I said, it takes time. Hang in there. It is normal, and it is okay to struggle right up to the National Hockey League level.

And please, one last thing, if you do think your child's struggle or quite frankly your own, need the support of someone else, reach out to a mental health professional. It might be one of the ones we've had here on the show. It might be someone of your own choosing, but it's okay to ask for help.

I've told you guys before that during the course of recording every episode, I start with a clean sheet of paper. I write down elements to our segments to lean on, and then I doodle throughout. And and I think Woody you you do the same thing. Right?

Yep. I got it. I just put held up my notepad. I got a whole bunch of things in there.

And that that that was clean at the start. And I I write notes to myself that I wanna remember about whether it's the Gear Segment or the the feature interview, different bullet points. I take the most notes during Hutch's parent segment.

Now you're building my confidence, and I mean that sincerely. Thank you.

But the the the index card, I I'm sitting here listening to that conversation and what would I put on an index card and writing down different words that that would resonate with me if I'm not feeling my best going into a show, what would help me deliver a great show and be effective and be able to provide my bosses with with the service, but also be able to have fun. So I thank you for that, Hutch.

Oh, okay. So let me ask you on that note, Daren, because you're a professional broadcaster, obviously, the only one amongst us who can claim that. Smile. I jotted that one down because for the first time in my amateurish career, I have to do ad reads for a product with one of the local radio stations that sponsors me. And the producer that brings me in for the ad reads, the first time she was in there, she's like, energy.

I need a little more energy. Right? I was a little flat. I was a little nervous. And she just said, smile before you start with your read.

And the energy just that naturally picked up. And I think of goaltending, and I think of we how many times have you heard me say tension is the enemy of goaltending, a mantra I picked up for me and Clark. Right? If we're tense out there, our muscles are inherently less flowy and more restricted and our movement's not gonna be as as clean. Well, what does a smile do?

It removes tension. Like, I'm literally might start taping the word smile on my stick, you know, little white tape and and just put a little

Little happy face.

Little happy face and a couple dots and, you know, a little smile. I was curious, Daren, is that one you've you've used in the past?

Something that goes back to the early days of Sportsnet, and we didn't have everything dialed in when we launched the network, and things could go sideways in a hurry. And it's something that I've always used just smiling more. And the viewer doesn't know or they think that you're just going along with it, it's great. And you may be challenged inside, but outwardly, you're delivering this persona. And I I will say this during a great show, you're naturally laughing or smiling a lot.

I probably smile just as much during a terrible show because I'm consciously smiling more trying to deliver that convince myself, but also the viewer, everything. And and that is that is right on the money. If you're no matter what you're doing, if you're having a terrible day, consciously smile, and it will be reciprocated by other people because it's natural that if somebody smiles at you, you smile back at them. And it'll it'll help turn around your day. You're you're right on the money there.

Sort of a physical manifestation. Yes. It's a physical manifestation of the atomic habits.

Yes.

I am a marathon runner or whatever. I'm happy and I'm showing it. I wanna give credit to my high school track coach, Duncan Payne in Toronto. If anybody knows Duncan Payne in Toronto, let him know that I would like to thank him and he's influenced a generation of goaltenders to the extent that I've worked with a bunch of goaltenders and told them this very same thing. I think I told you guys this story.

Major junior goaltender several years ago was very frustrated in a camp and he came out of the net after a drill and I said, just go smile and go have some fun. And he went back in there and he stopped every shot and he came back out and he said, oh my god, it actually works. And checked in with me later that season and let me know that he'd been doing it during during his WHL season as well and was having a lot of great success as a result. So comes from so many levels. If you're hearing it from so many people in so many different contexts, there's gotta be something about it.

The marathon line reminded me of another sort of approach. It's on on running. Mhmm. Don't run. When you say to yourself, I'm gonna go for a run.

Don't say, don't I'm I'm gonna go for a run. You say, I'm a runner. They're they're the same thing, but they translate so much differently. I I didn't go for a run last night. I'm a runner who did five k.

Like I like it.

Kinda want something that I I don't run, but it it does mean something Yeah. To I'm a cyclist.

I only run if I'm being chased.

You're not allowed to put yourself down now, Daren. Sorry. You are a cyclist.

I'm I'm I'm a cyclist. Right. And I get to the top. That's my goal.

There you go.